Gisele Bundchen is Ruining My Sundays

The Patriots are off to a 4 and 3 start. While that's technically a winning record, it's way short of what was predicted for them and way short of what we've come to expect from them. Even more disappointing than their record is how they've looked - very beatable. Predictably, the local airwaves are filled with explanations for their mediocrity: "The defense stinks"... "The secondary can't cover"... "The game has passed Belichick bye"... "The offensive play calling has been awful". These may all be valid points, but the real issue I fear is much more cosmic - Tom Brady has lost his mojo.

In the good old days (2001-2007), you always wanted the ball in Brady's hands when the game was on the line. In situations in which most mortals would succumb to pressure, Brady was cooler than Fonzie. Fourth quarter comebacks were routine. Game winning drives were his specialty. The bigger the moment, the better he'd play. He exuded a quiet confidence that rubbed off on his teammates and all of us. You just felt they would win every game no matter what the circumstance was... Peyton Manning coming into town? Tom owns him.... Down by 10 in the snow to Oakland? Don't worry, Tom will find a way... Superbowl tied with a minute to go? Tom's got the ball, get the Duck Boats ready. Alas, I don't feel that confidence anymore. What happened?

My theory (and I admit it's not completely original) is that his jump the shark moment was when Gisele came in the picture (circa Fall 2007). The pre-Gisele Tom was fearless and wanted to win at all costs, I'm not sure that's the case with the current Tom. It's understandable if you think about it - put yourself in his Uggs. Would your first priority be to try to win games at all costs (even if it means getting steamrolled by a 300 lb lineman) or to make sure you get home in one piece to your Brazilian supermodel wife? I still think he's a great player and I'm sure he still wants to win, it's just that self-preservation (probably at a subconscious level) is also part of the equation now. It's easy to connect the dots from here... Thoughts of self-preservation lead to not being fearless... Not being fearless leads to not being cool under pressure... Not being cool under pressure leads to not delivering in big moments.

Think I'm full of it? Generally speaking you're right, but in this case some interesting facts back up my theory:

  Pre-Gisele Since Meeting Gisele
Photographic Evidence

Photo from proGRESHion

Photo from tumblr
Playoff Record 11 wins, 2 loses (84.5 winning percentage) 4 wins, 4 loses (50.0 winning percentage)
Superbowl Record 3 wins, 0 loses 0 wins, 2 loses
4th Quarter Comebacks 25 in 6 seasons (4.2 / year) 12 in 4.5 seasons* (2.7 / year)

* 1 game in 2008 + 7 games in 2012 = 8 games = .5 of a season
Key Products Endorsed Sneakers and cheap American cologne. Underwear and trendy Australian shoes.


  1. We need to cowboy up!! And visit patriot place with these arguments very strong valid and factual enjoyed!!


Post a Comment